Oh my gosh, I really, seriously, SERIOUSLY need to stop LOSING things.  Last week I lost my math homework.  Then on Friday my teacher (math, still) gave us 2 worksheets with a blurry definition on which one was a quiz, but it was fine 'cause she's really laidback, and I finished one this weekend, and the other one I didn't do because I didn't get it.  Well I lost the one I did.  How, I don't know.  But it turns out they were both part of a quiz.  On top of that, the one that I didn't do but thought was a quiz, I was sitting on the couch this weekend with my mom and I jokingly wrote at the top to her: "I CAN'T. DO THIS."  I erased it, but not well enough, and in my rush to turn it in I didn't notice, but my teacher did, and she made a comment about it, and it was really embarrassing because now she thinks that I sit at home crying about my math homework writing self-deprecating things at the top of it.  Wow.  And then for my assessment class I lost this behavioral objective I wrote that took me FOREVER to word correctly.  Luckily I had e-mailed it to my partner to ask what she thought, so I found it in my Sent Messages after like 15 minutes.

GEEZ FREAKIN LOUISE.

It's a good think I graduate in a year and a half, because I'm starting to suck at school.  I mean, my grades are fine so far (knock on wood), but I can't focus, I can't get motivated, I can't concentrate, I feel exhausted much of the time that is to be used for getting work done, and I can't keep track of all my shit.  Oh, and I failed the Illinois Constitution Test by one question.  And I got the lowest passing grade on the U.S. Constitution Test.

And when I went home this weekend and saw my empty room with no more lame pastel swirlies on the wall, and with zero stuffed animals in sight, and no posters or bulletin board with pictures from Homecoming senior year of high school or handwritten notes from the days of working at the theatre, I cried a lot.  My dad asked me to write him a check for my credit card bill since they get sent home and not here, and last night I made him out a check for $300 and the Memo said, "For:" and I put in my home address.  I will buy my house for $300 and then my childhood will not be sold away and I won't have to be sad about it anymore.

It was a good weekend though; I had sushi with Kim and we bought "Premonition" on DirectTV (or, my Dad bought it for us without his knowledge), and on Saturday I ran a lot of errands and then spent some time with my family (although that was a little dramatic at first), and then on Sunday there was a going away brunch for my parents and I had delicious banana bread french toast.  It was just also a sad weekend too, there will be only 3 more times at the most that I will ever see this house again, as long as nothing horrible happens that requires me to be home other than the usual breaks.

Well, I have a lot to do, so I am going to wrap this up...and probably procrastinate just a little bit more.

I am so effing exhausted.  This weekend was CRAZY.  Okay, to interrupt myself, there is a creepy-ass noise coming from outside.  It sounds like a combination of ghouls and cars squealing.  Um...yeah, I think that's all.  Okay, so the weekend was crazy, I'm really tired, I didn't get as much done as I should have, but I guess the good thing is that I wasn't expecting to anyways.  Usually Mondays are also good catch-up days because I don't have work and I only have class from 12-2, but at 9 tomorrow I am giving my assessment to the girl I've been observing at a school nearby, and at 3 in the afternoon I'm going BACK to interview her teacher.  Neither thing should take too long, but that kind of splits up the day even more.

What else?  I may change my mind since I have not started any of my practicums yet, but as of now I think I have finally decided what age range I want to teach.  Little kids!  1st through 3rd grade, probably, in that general vicinity.  That was really exciting to have that revelation.  And I'm becoming really super disgustingly excited about Deaf Ed, although I haven't the really tough stuff yet so that could change, too.  ;)  Although I don't think it will.  I just remember last year I was kind of questioning myself being in this major, but for awhile I've felt really passionate about it, and it feels amazing to know that you are where you are supposed to be.  Knock on wood.  :)

And I was going to quick finish this math worksheet that I couldn't do originally because I lost it, and I should have it done for tomorrow, but I looked at it and it's one of these word problems that I never quite figured out how to do and is really incredibly confusing.  Oh my gosh, I just need some time to catch up on things.  I'm not sure if I will next weekend either, 'cause I'm going home and spending some time with the familia, and also going through some of my stuff and bringing some summer clothes back home and getting some fall/winter stuff to bring back here, and also probably going through stuff to throw away so my parents don't have to move crap I don't use to Ohio.  They'll have enough to deal with.  And on Sunday is their "Going Away" brunch.  I think my mom is going there the first week in November, and then they'll put the house up for sale, and as soon as it sells my dad will join her.  It's really actually kinda sad.  I mean, I'm glad they both have jobs and will get to have a nice new house and etc., but we've lived in that house for 15 years, and....yeah.  Apparently my room is pretty much stripped, so I'm sure it'll be a shock to the system when I walk in and my wallpaper is down and there's not a whole lot of anything anywhere.

I'm also kind of annoyed with myself because I very well may be the most sensitive person alive, and I know it's just part of who I am and something I can't really help, but it really affects me at certain points and makes me overanalyze every little thing and I get depressed about it, but then I feel stupid about it and realize it's probably all in my head, and then I get even more upset about what a tool I am.  Wow, that was so. eloquent.  I can't even stand how much sense I make.  Shut up, I'm tired, I've had like 10 minutes to rest this weekend.  That's a lie, but still just shut up.

Overall, life is good, but there are just certain things that are stressing me out.  Which is bound to happen.  And everyone is stressed out.  And I'm lucky that things that are stressing me out aren't worse.

I sound like such a cheeseball/nerd.  But whatevs, it's who I am.  Annnd...I'm probably going to look at calculus one time, cry inside, not do it, and then go to bed.

Sounds like a plan.